An Address to Haggis Crisps

Last updated: 11.45am, Thursday 29th January 2015 by

Burns Night has been and gone for 2015 but we couldn't resist sharing this Burns-inspired poem, written by local poet Andy Jackson about our Haggis Crisps.

Tae A Packet O’ Haggis-Flavoured Crisps

Fair fa yer honest, sonsie pack,
great chieftain o the warld o snacks
wha's rustic flavour niver lacks
for onyhing.
Yon Heeven clad in gowd an black,
o thee eh sing.

Thi corporation they creh Mackies
tak handfus o thi finest tatties,
freh em up, tho no too fatty,
nor too fillin.
An no washd doon wi café latte
but eighty shillin.

At first meh heid thocht ‘whit a joke;
it maun be wrang’. Eh thocht eh’d boak
until eh opened up the poke
and smelt inside
the reek hud won me at a stroke
- eh nearly died!

Eh’m deen wi nuts an Cheesy Quavers
an Pringles hae nae taste to savour.
Eh’m sorry if ye hink meh haver’s
Ye watna hae anither flavour?
Ye maun be mental!

If ye wad hae a michty lunch
whaur ivry moothfu packs a punch
eh’ll tull yi this; when cams thi crunch
eh’ll aye be singin
‘ye can keep yir Monster Munch
or cheese an ingin’.

Ye powrs, wha strive mankind tae fix
and help us get war snack-time kicks
Auld Scotland wants nae Bombay Mix;
she’ll nivir tak it.
Thir’s jist wan flavour she wad pick -
gie her a packet!

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